Tanlines & Ponytails
by raveman2
Summary: He imagined Haruhi wearing a strapless bikini that showed off her tan-lines and her hair in a pony-tail, covering up in embarrassment, while staring daggers at me to stop, "What the hell are you looking at you pervert." and slaps me on the face.
1. Chapter 1

**Tan-lines & Pony-tails**

Disclaimer: I do not own The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya or any other of it's series.

**Rated T**

Normal speech: "Talking"

_'Inner Thoughts, or reading passages from books, etc._

"KYON YOU IDIOT!"

***Sound Effects* **

**/Flashback/ **

****

**This isn't really going to be that big of a story, so they're in short chapters. This is my first time trying to write a Haruhi fic so I can get a feel on how to display the characters so when I try to write my other Haruhi fic "GOing Digital" I'll have a clear understanding on what I'm doing. I've only seen both series so I'm going off both on what I know. After reading "Meet the Suzumiya's" it gave me the inspiration to write my own, so I would highly recommend reading it. This set after the series so be warned there will be spoilers, so if you haven't seen it don't read it. That is all now enjoy.

* * *

**

It was in the middle of summer and we we're experiencing the hottest day on record. And since it was a scorching day everyone who was at school are trying to find a cool place to spend during the study period, and since the study that had air-con was full to the max, so I decided to located myself under the tree in the courtyard. It was the same tree that I found Haruhi under after the ENOZ girls confronting her and telling her how appreciated all the fine work that she and Nagato did, when they acted in the stead for Ms Miyuki Enomoto and Ms Takako Nakanishi.

So there I was lying down in a pure bliss. Sure it was hot day, but the wind was wonderful in a shady area and it was quiet. It was so wonderful I completely ignored the work I had planned to do out here, I just didn't want this to end.

But I somehow knew that this peaceful tranquility I was feeling could only last for so long, thanks to a certain idiot I know.

"Hey Kyon, take a look at this!" Kyon turns his head to see Taniguchi who was currently running towards my location carrying some sort of book with him, while not to far behind was Kunikida.

Yes, that idiot.

I didn't answer him hoping he would leave thinking I was asleep, but lady luck was obviously away trying to cool down from this heat as well.

I sat up from my position when, "What's up?"

"Here take a look at this." he handed me a magazine.

Against my better judgment I had a quick peep through it. It had girls with long, short-hair to blue, black, green colored hairs all in bikini's showing tan-lines. All the while I'm looking through I'm questioning myself on why I was still reading this magazine, "Yeah, it's a magazine on tan-lines? What's your point?"

"Tan-lines man, Tan-lineeees! There totality awesome." said while giving me a stupid thumbs up, "It's a very exotic way for the ladies to show off what they got."

You would think a potato sack would look good on anyone, if it showed the right amount of skin.

He turned to Kunikida who looked like he was about to laugh and when I turned back to Taniguchi he was smirking. At what I had no idea, but I have a feeling I'm about to find out.

"Kyon... turn to page 115..."

I once again scrolled through the magazine, until I stumbled upon the said interesting page. It looked pretty normal to me or so I thought.

It was a smiling teen girl who had golden-brown skin brown-hair and brown-eyes who I would say has an average bust in a strapless bikini, but I was more shocked in what her name was displayed as.

In big bold letters showed the name as, Kyonko.

"Kyon what are you doing?" a new voice came from behind him.

I shut the magazine quickly hid it by sliding it up under my shirt, trying to be inconspicuous as can be.

But the word of the day for me ladies and gentlemen was "_try_".

"Are you hiding something from me Kyon? Don't you know that it's illegal hiding stuff from your Brigade-Chief!" Haruhi informed Kyon as she suddenly appeared behind him.

" No, I'm not." I lied.

She narrowed her eyes and points down to my hand under my shirt, "Then what's under your shirt?"

Busted, "If you have to know it's so badly it happens to be my sweaty chest." I informed her.

She paused abit, and I couldn't help but notice a faint blush. It's probably because of the heat.

"Show it to me." she commanded, which made me recoil.

"What? No!" I barked back.

She pointed her finger down to the ground, "Drop it." giving him a command as you would a dog, I shook my head.

And before I knew what was happening Haruhi had jumped on to me and started to reach for it from behind.

I tried to struggle with her, but it wasn't long before she got her hands on it. I held onto it for dear life, but my hands were a bit sweaty, but I was holding my own until she finally got it.

"Kyon I command you to give it to me." she shouted getting annoyed.

There was a snickering in the background, "That what she said." said a smiling Taniguchi.

If there was a perfect time to go all exorcist, it would be now. As my head slowly turned to glare at the idiot that gave Haruhi the opportunity she needed, to rip the magazine out of my hands and from under my shirt.

The magazine didn't rip which surprised me from the rough treatment we we're giving it, and I was hoping it would rip too. Of course, the condition of the magazine was the least of my concerns, as a certain content that I wish didn't see the light of day.

It didn't take long after she snatched it from me before she realized the contents of said magazine we're of, "Oh…"

She narrowed her eyes at me giving me a dry look, "I see…"

Now Haruhi don't get the wrong idea.

But of course she did and was now ignoring him while quickly looking through what was inside the magazine and turning back to Kyon with a disgusted look.

"Geeze Kyon. I thought you knew better than all those horn-ball men, but I never thought you were such a pervert as well…" and after she said that she turned her back to us, well it was mostly directed at me and starts to walk away, "I'm confiscating this trash."

Wait Haruhi it's all... a big big misunderstanding.

I sighed as I was watching Haruhi's back turned the corner into the school building exiting my line of site.

"Awe... don't feel so down... Kyonko~." was sung in a musical note.

I stiffen after hearing him say that and as I slowly turned to see the idiots face knowing full well I'll see it smirking.

I was right he was smirking, but then why was I surprised he was the one who had shown it to me in the first place.

"You actually look hot as a girl Kyon."

Bite me!

He laughed at me and so was Kunikida, but I didn't let get to me, "So was that your reason for showing me that in the first place."

"Nah, I only wanted to show you that picture of that cute girl.. which reminds me you owe me a new magazine."

Why bother, you'll probably get dirty again later tonight anyway.

"Now that's not nice Kyon and just after I showed you those hotties too."

"I wonder how Mikuru Asihina would look with some tan-lines." spoke Kunikida who was starting to look like a prop decoration.

I can't really imagine Ms Asahina with any tan-lines. In fact I think she would most likely get sun-burn before getting tan-lines. Just imagining her all red complexion tearing at the eyes showing her discomfort.

So cute.

"Yeah, I guess your right." Kunikida agreed.

"Oh? What about Suzumiya then, hmm?" Taniguchi said.

Haruhi? Why did he bring her up all of a sudden? But now that you mention it, that wouldn't be such a far-fetched idea I could almost fantasize about it…wait, no I should stop. She would kill me if she knew what I was thinking. Besides I'm not really a tan-line type of person to be honest.

But even I thoroughly denied that fact in my mind I just couldn't help, but picture it coming true somehow.

He imagined Haruhi wearing a strapless bikini that showed off her tan-lines and her hair in a pony-tail, covering up in embarrassment, while staring daggers at me to stop, "What the hell are you looking at you pervert." and slaps me on the face.

I shook the image out of my head. She'll have no problem doing that with a clear conscious too. I subconsciously rub the cheek where it was slapped.

* * *

While making her way back to homeroom class Haruhi stops infront of the bin to throw the offensive thing out.

As she starts to move it into the bin she she stops and slowly pulls it out to look at it.

She then slowly brings it to her face and begins to stiff the magazine. She sighs, "It smells just like him." and so instead of throwing the magazine away Haruhi makes a quick dash to go put it in her locker before the bell starts to ring signaling for the next class.

* * *

It's now the following day after the little drama episode I had with Haruhi and even though she looked angry yesterday it seems she was perfectly fine into gave look away from

I turned around to Haruhi who was currently in her gym clothes, gazing out the window in thought.

It didn't look like she was going to make the first move, so I decided to take the head on approach to break the ice, "Didn't change uniforms again I see."

"It was hot and I couldn't be bothered, uhh." she fanned herself with her hand.

"Ok I give. What's wrong?"

While never moving her head Haruhi glared at from the side, "Nothing that concerns you, perv."

You know, you never did let me explain myself yesterday.

"Why bother? You had it, you read it and you hid it from me. What's there to explain?"

Ok, after putting it that way. I guess it does incriminate me pretty badly.

I scratched my head, "Look, I was only asked to look at it by Taniguchi. It's not like it was mine to begin with and I only hid the stupid thing because I knew you would over react."

Now having her turned to me she stared into my eyes seeing if I was telling the truth when all a sudden.

"Do you like tan-lines Kyon?" she asked me suddenly.

Do I like tan-lines? Well, I would be lying if I said I wasn't interested.

As she looked back out the window she said, "I see."

After that Haruhi was quiet for the entire class and when the lunch bell rang she disappeared out the doors.

But it was not until later during lunch when all went to hell as the school had it's foundation shake underneath them as a small quake came and went. Students and the school's faculty we're evacuated from the school.

* * *

After the so called quake had occurred it seems to have done something to the make the main sewage line rupture and now all students we're out on the oval field for an assembly. Trying to get away from the retched smell.

"Okay students quiet down just to let you know that the school has problems with the pipes so will be out for the next week for the repairs to be done." They we're informed by Okabe who was holding his nose.

When people started to talk and cheer, but Okabe interrupted them as he continued, "But that doesn't mean you get to slack off, so we're going to be giving out assignments."

The awes came after he said that.

I was in the crowd holding like the rest I was looking around if I could see Haruhi, but I haven't seen her since last period.

I hope she's ok. I don't want her to end the world just because she slipped and fell into pile of someones you-know-what.

"That's it, your dismissed!" that was all Okabe had to say for the students to go grab there stuff and leave.

* * *

After the assembly and grabbing my bag I made my way to the Literary Club, aka. Haruhi's den of madness. Where it seems to be the only place that wasn't affected by the quake.

Coincidence, I think not.

As I entered the room I was only met with everyone except the female leader.

I put my bag down on a hanger and sat across from Koizomi who held a deck of cards.

I nodded for him to deal, "So where's our wondrous leader, I never saw her during the assembly?"

"Who knows, but I have a feeling she planning something." spoke Koizumi as deals Kyon his cards.

What makes you say that?

Koizumi leans on his arm while giving his smile, " What makes me say that is because of the event that took place today."

Wait a minute. You can't possibly mean that Haruhi intended for there to be a quake so the school would fill up and would smell like sh-

"Well maybe not intentionally per say. " Koizumi interrupted me, " More like she subconsciously wanted the school out of commission for awhile."

But why?

"I have feeling we'll find out soon enough, call."

Sorry Koizumi we'd them and weep, Full-House.

"Sorry Kyon, Straight-Flush."

Sigh, why is it that I suck at any kind of gambling game?

"Maybe because, you don't believe in the heart of the cards?" Koizumi chuckled as he shrugged.

I'll heart of the cards with my fist in your face you smiling bastard.

***SLAM* **

"I'm back everyone!" shouts Haruhi who was brimming with excitement.

"So nice you could join us, what happened to you?"

"Well after I felt the quake I went to the oval field like the rest, but then after hearing from Okabe that we had a week off I got an awesome idea. So I ran back home to get the info I needed-"

And here I was actually worried for your safety, well more the world but still.

"Shut up Kyon and if you interrupt me I'm gonna slap you with an insubordination fine!" she barked her threat at me.

After cowering under her firm gaze Haruhi, took a breath to ready herself.

"Attention SOS Brigade since we have the next week off school I've decided that we're going to spend it on a beach in a beach-house, so get ready cause we're shipping out in the afternoon tomorrow."

While everyone sat in silence Miss Asahina who was preparing the tea at the time looked abit unsure, Koizumi was smiling as usual I hate it when he's right and Nagato... well was being Nagato quietly reading her book in her corner. Guess I'm on my own then.

I'm sorry, but who decided on this again?

"I did." she hastily stated.

I sighed, of course she did. It's not like she would dream of discussing things like this with the rest of us. That in it self would be apocalyptic.

"Actually I think that a wonderful idea Madam Captain and it just so happens that I have a cousin who has a very nice beach house down by the sea-side.

You have alot family. Will there be any murders where we're going?

With the same smile he shrugs, "Who knows?" there better not be.

But I pondered on why Haruhi had decided on the beach instead of the local pool? Actually now that I think about it, that would be nice for a change. For Nagato's sake if anything else, I'm still not sure how she was able to cope. Actually I wouldn't be all that surprised if she went on a killing spree through one of those 15,532nd times.

Well if Haruhi's decided, then it's decided. Now there's only I got to do now, what's that you ask? What else.

Do my homework.

* * *

**Ok First chapter done. I have to say when talking or thinking as Kyon you can't help, but feel empathy for the guy. I mean to do everything someone tells you to do, and a wanna-be ladys man as a friend. I think I would go nuts.**

**So how did you like it? As I said before I only know so much on this series, but after "Meet the Suzumiya's" I had to buy the 2nd series. But I fill like I was ripped off seeing the same episode go on for eight times, if anything it was suspenseful just to see it end.**

**Now as for my other stories since with the state my Internet connection was, I have lost the steam I had while making them. So I going to see if by making other stories I can somehow get my flow back. I hope you enjoy reading as I'll looking forward for your reviews. **


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note

I, along with many, have been writing and posting on your fine site for years now, some of the better examples of up and coming writers out there are now suddenly finding some of the stories we've come to love at risk of being removed without the chance to even rectify our errors.

For some, that means the permanent loss of a story. While I don't have anything that (I believe) violates your terms of use, there are those out there that are never able to recover a story in its original form, this is something I find to be almost worthy of a legal action, as while we cannot claim ownership of a character, the stories are OURS and simply destroying them is something that is inexcusable.

It's quite easy to simply add an MA rating, additional filters or even a simple requirement for a free membership to read the stories presented here, and would cut down on hateful anonymous reviews and posts at the same time, so I have to question as to why such a thing, in all this time, simply wasn't added.

If you're worried about falsification of a registration then have an appropriate disclaimer and then there can be no dispute, you took your steps and the PARENTS didn't monitor their children, if that is even your concern. If it is more of a personal view or desire then please at least let people know and give them a chance to remove a story that you and yours find offensive, most people on the site are actually rather cordial when it comes to such requests.

While I cannot say for sure if this letter will even reach those that may be willing to listen, of if it's more akin to a wide spectrum purge in preparation for something bigger, please understand that you are going to be losing a LARGE number of your writers, and thus your income from a lack of readers if there is not some level of action taken to help with this situation.

For those that may agree with this, please feel free to sign on and send this to the support server, maybe we can get some movement on this.

**(**/Raveman/ - I haven't been on due to work and since writing doesn't pay may bills I have to work more so I can't spend all the time on here sorry. Now when I was told about this I didn't believe it, but after checking it out myself I was shocked then angered. Why the hell was created in the first place if not to display the works from people who put there blood sweat and tears into a lot of them just for it to deleted without even a warning. I don't understand if this was such an issue then why didn't the site bother to make an option for MA stories instead of introducing a new implement as Image Managers? Yes that's going to be a very useful option. Where the hell are our rights!) **Delete this note if you decide to res****end it.)**

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